The Lair of Dr. Babile (3/18/2011)
Charles narrowly dodged tree trunks as he ran down the forested hill. The shade from the trees protected him from the sweltering heat of the sun, but the humidity was high enough that he'd be soaked even if he wasn't working up the mother of all sweats. He leaped, narrowly avoided the tribal spears coming for him, and grabbed hold of a nearby vine. The vine jerked once in his hand, but held as Charles swung out from between the trees over the road and the eight legged giant spider bot scrambling down it.
The guards on the back of the giant spider saw Charles and opened fire. A lucky round struck the vine. Mere seconds before the vine snapped, Charles let go. The guards opened fire with the accuracy of a drunken man in a tilt-a-whirl; their rounds futilely sprayed the jungle, but came no where near the man in free fall overhead. Not a second later, the three men collapsed in a heap as Charles used them as a crash pad. He grabbed two of their guns, and headed into the abdomen of the giant mechanical spider.
At the bottom of the stairs, just inside the control room, he saw her. She was beautiful as always, and even evocative with her hands bound above her head. She was still wearing the red sequined dress from the Chinese Theater, the one with the slit from ankle to thigh. Charles salivated, and his trousers tightened, at the mere sight of her. But, he had other things to handle first.
The guard took Charles by surprise, lunging out of the shadows at a moment of weakness. The guns slipped from Charles's hands and clattered to the metal deck of the spider. A wild right hook showed the guard who was boss though, and Charles stalked into the control room. “It's over, Dr. Babile! Your reign of tyranny comes to an end! Release her, now!”
Dr. Babile giggled and cooed. His chair rotated so he could face Charles, revealing his too large head and adorable chubby arms and legs. Just a baby. Rather, just a baby with a gun aimed right at Charles's heart. “Nein, mein father. We are only, as you Americans say, just beginning!” The gun went off. Everything went dark. Dr. Babile cackled in victory.
“Chuck, Chuck, wake up!” Reality returned as Chuck's wife shook him awake. A baby's cry was coming through the window. “The baby's crying, see if you can calm him down. I went the last three times.” Chuck was out of bed, feet on the cold floor, before he even knew he was awake. He looked to his wife one last time as he scratched his magnificent beard, then left to placate his crying son. Dr. Babile had won, for now.